Who who do you loveeeeeee.

One of my favorite quotes from Marvin J. Ashton:

True love is a process. True love requires personal action. Love must be continuing to be real. Love takes time. Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love. How hollow, how empty if our love is no deeper than the arousal of momentary feeling or the expression in words of what is no more lasting than the time it takes to speak them.

In my home, we weren't always told "I love you."  We didn't hug each other, we never held one another when we were crying . . . we just weren't very emotional or showed our affection very well.  My dad would always tell us, "I don't have to tell you I love you because I am SHOWING you I love you.  Love is a action."

I grew up with this mentality.  I grew up KNOWING that when and if someone loved me, they showed me.  They didn't just tell me, they showed me, and the same goes for the way that I display my love and my affection.  I don't really tell people "oh hey, by the way, I love you."  I will go out of my way for you, and then I silently hope that you FEEL of my love.  

There are different kinds of love.  There is the kind of love that a parent has for a child.  The kind of love that allows you to sacrifice all of who you are for your child.  The kind of love that is unconditional.  There is the kind of love that is a friendship kind of love that allows you open up and share the most intimate parts of yourself with your best friend.  There is the kind of love that is Christ like, where you act on the benefit of someone else, it may even be someone you don't know.  And then there is the romantic kind of love that is somewhat like love at first sight.  Now which of these is the most important kind of love that is needed to create a successful relationship?

As I have studied these kinds of love, I have concluded that agape, of the Christ like Love, is probably the most meaningful kind of love to ME.  I think about all of the relationships that I have had, whether they are friendships, sibling relationships, co workers, romantic, associations, group projects . . .etc.  When I think of these relationships, I think about the kind of love that came alongside them.  If I have a Christ like love for these people, then all the other kinds of love will soon follow.

Lets talk about romantic relationships for a second . . . now in my home, we never discussed having a boyfriend or girlfriend.  We didn't talk about those things with our parents.  It wasn't BANNED or FORBIDDEN, we just never talked about it.  It's kind of an awkward subject to bring up for us.  We just never discussed it.  But I learned SO much about romantic relationships based off of just observing my parents and their partnership and the way that they conduct their relationship.  

Something that I have noticed over the years about myself, is that if I develop this kind of Christ like love, everything else falls into place.  First of all, I feel really weird putting this kind of stuff out there, but I want people to know me as a person, and not just the girl who is always talking about her family, so if this is weird for you all to read, it's really weird for me to write. Hahahaha sooo, we can struggle together(:  

Anyway, like I was saying, if I develop Agape, Christ like love, the other kinds of love are like side effects.  I have dated someone who I didn't think was the most attractive person on the planet, but the more I got to know him, the more we spent time together, the more I did acts of service for him like making him cookies, or surprising him with his favorite candy bars, (toblerone), or simply sending him a text in the middle of the day to make sure he was ok, the more attractive he became and the more I grew to love him.  I also became more protective of him.  I developed that parent-child kind of love for him where I wanted to protect him from the criticism and harshness of my parents, my siblings, and the world.  The more he became my best friend and the more love I had for him and the more attached I became. When you do something on behalf of someone else's benefit, you are being selfless and you begin to love the people you are serving.

Another example is of my little sister and I.  Sina and I fought ALL the time when we were little.  I hated her guts.  I hated them until I was a senior in high school.  How sad is that?  I spent all that time hating someone I now can't see my life without.  Anywho, I told myself that if I would just be the bigger person and move on, than I would be the real winner.  Everything between us was a competition, and I wanted to come out on top, so I gave myself a challenge.  I told myself that if I served Sina, maybe I could grow to love her.  I did, and I grew to love her unconditionally.  I did her laundry and I made an extra effort to be nicer to her, and I tried to see things from her point of view, and it honestly humbled me and made me love her more.

This past weekend, she was visiting our older sister Pu'a in Utah, and I was on my way to pick her up and bring her back to Idaho with me.  On Friday, we were on our way to our cousin's house when our other little sister, Ana, called us and told us that Sina's mission call had arrived in Colorado.  Sina looked at me and said, "I can't wait til a week to open it."  I shook my head and said, "Sina . . . if you want me to turn this car around and drive you home, I will."  She just smiled, and before I knew it, I found myself driving back to Colorado to open her mission call.  Was it crazy?  Yes, it was insane.  Should I have been more logical and rational?  Probably.  But I couldn't make her wait.  I would give her the world if she begged me for it, and I would sacrifice money and sleep just to drive her back home for 6 hours and then turn around and drive back to Utah, because that's what would make her happy.  THAT is the kind of love that I have for my siblings.  I would give them everything I had if it meant that they were happy.

I bring this up because i want you all to think about the people you love and the different levels of love at which they are loved.  How can we do better?  How can we love people unconditionally?  How can we love people the way Christ does?  We're imperfect. At least I am, and I want to do better about showcasing my love for those around me . . . so think about.  Think about who you love & WHY . . . 

Til you read again

-me[: